Well, I'm back again after another long break. I've been pretty depressed for a while, and just haven't felt much like writing. I guess as I look back over the journal entries in here, I realize that I haven't talked about the miscarriage much. That makes sense, seeing as how I hadn't been dealing with it in my life either. In fact, I've pretty much been concentrating so much on getting pregnant again so that I didn't have to deal with it (not that I don't also want to get pregnant again).

So I finally started dealing with it. I went back on the birth control pills for a month so that I could feel the grief without so many distractions. I think that I'm finally beginning to feel better. I'm still tired and having trouble getting things done, so I know it's not completely gone, but I'm no longer crying every day and I can sometimes look at babies and smile rather than breaking into tears.

We have had some problems with some good friends saying some very insensitive things to us. I actually think in some ways that this was helpful, seeing as how I've had some one to be mad at. It's been rather cathartic. I'm just realizing now that I'm going to actually have to deal with this situation and talk to them about it rather than just sitting here and being mad at them. I'm not very good at dealing with confrontation, so it's going to be really hard. But it's got to be done.

While I'm on the subject, I'll just give a tip for everyone who knows anyone who is going through a miscarriage or any other situation causing extreme grief: Don't say anything stupid. I know that's kind of an ambiguous statement, but let me tell you how to do it. Whenever something pops into your mind that's meant to be comforting, don't say it. Don't say, "you just need to trust God," "everything will be all right soon," "God wanted your loved one in heaven," or anything else like that. Whether they are true statements or not, they aren't going to make them feel better. Nothing you can say will. It just takes time to work through that grief, nothing else can make it go away. Those sorts of statements that are meant to cause comfort may very well make them feel worse. Instead, as my mom told me, tell them that you care about them and that you'll be there for them when they need a shoulder to cry on. That's all they need to know.